Visitors decide whether or not to stay in groups, organizations and religious communities by asking the following questions: “Will you remember my name? Will you accept me as I am? Will you listen to me? Will you care?”
Mind you, potential members don't ask these questions openly.
Established members would like to answer: “Of course, we will remember your name. Of course, we will accept you as you are. Of course, we will listen to you. Of course, we will care.”
But our visitors who never return are those who know what our answers were. Members of the group didn't remember their names. They didn't accept them as they were. They didn't listen to them. And they didn't care.
Mind you, potential members don't ask these questions openly.
Established members would like to answer: “Of course, we will remember your name. Of course, we will accept you as you are. Of course, we will listen to you. Of course, we will care.”
But our visitors who never return are those who know what our answers were. Members of the group didn't remember their names. They didn't accept them as they were. They didn't listen to them. And they didn't care.
1 comment:
I think this is very true. I think it is akin to the phenomenon I witnessed in California, which to a large degree is a land of newcomers. Native Californians are vastly outnumbered by newer residents--at least, that was the impression I had. Yet after people moved there, they often became territorial and resentful of the new people that came after them, forcing up property prices, driving sprawl and traffic. I could understand the annoyance, but at the same time it was like, have you forgotten that you came here seeking something too? It's not a perfect analogy, but I have seen this in churches, where those who've stayed long enough to establish those relationships forget what it was like to be new and not know anybody, and don't understand the need to keep reaching out behind them with welcoming arms. If you don't do that, you miss out on a lot of relationships with wonderful people, for one, and also the opportunity to give something powerful to other people,which is the gift of belonging.
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